The Road to Adoption Part 1

“My people will abide in a peaceful habitation, in secure dwellings, and in quiet resting places.” 

Isaiah 32:18

Over the years, this has become one of my favorite Bible verses. Growing up, I had no concept of a secure home to dwell in, or a quiet resting place to sleep in. Life was rough. As the bus pulled up to the orphanage, I saw buildings all around. The bus came to a stop and we were greeted by the orphanage staff. They seemed nice enough. My brother and I were led to a large building in the center of the campus. As we walked, the orphanage staff pointed out the other buildings, highlighting the school we would attend, a large building with a movie theater, dance studio, and staff offices. They made it sound like fun! They also explained that children were divided into age groups, so I would be separated from my brother again. When we got into the building, my brother was led to his room on the first floor. I was led up a flight of stairs to the second level. On the left side of the hallway was a play area with a sofa, TV, and toys. It looked cozy, but very small. On the right side of the hallway was a small dining room with four tables for us to eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner. The staff led me through the dining room and showed me the little kitchenette where they prepared our food. Just through the kitchen was the room where I would spend so many nights crying myself to sleep. It was small but quaint. I counted twelve beds in the room, six on each side. I remember them being so close together. After my little tour, the staff gave me a quick overview of the house rules. Each day I was required to make my bed, help prepare the daily meals, clear the table, and sweep the floors. 

Breakfast was around 6:30 in the morning. We had grits and sweet tea everyday. After breakfast, the teacher would braid our hair and then we would brush our teeth and begin playing. I remember cringing while brushing my teeth because all we had to use was soap. There was no toothpaste at the orphanage. Lunch consisted of borscht or beef stew and after lunch, we would lay down for a one hour nap. One of the staff members would be at the doorway, watching to make sure we were not into mischief. Dinner was always leftover food from lunch. We took one shower per week. This felt like a luxury; back with mom, I rarely ever had a shower! When mom was able to get us a shower, it was in a public facility where males and females all showered in the same area. After dinner, we would brush our teeth, wash our undies with soap and hang them to dry, and then head straight to bed. I remember most evenings lying awake in my bed because the sun was still up.

All of this was so scary to me. I never had this much structure in my life. This was all very new to me. I was used to roaming the city streets and coming and going as I pleased. I wasn’t used to having a strict schedule and people telling me what to do all day long. Even though this change was difficult, I eventually adjusted. Getting to play outside was the highlight of my day. I remember the playground fondly! We had rusty metal seesaws, tires to jump over, a small merry-go-round to get dizzy on, and rusty old swings. While I don’t remember many of the other children, I do remember Luba. She was a very sweet friend to me. Rain, sleet or snow, we were always sent outside to play, and we had the best time together.

It seems strange to me now, but boys and girls shared rooms here. Each night after the staff tucked us in, we would listen at the door to make sure they had gone to the playroom to watch TV. When the coast was clear, we would start jumping up and down on each other’s beds. We had the best pillow fights. We made it a game to see how long we could horse play before getting caught. This was always so much fun. Not so fun were the nights we had thunderstorms. Thunderstorms have always scared me. It was these nights that I missed my mom the most! I wanted so badly to snuggle up with her and have her tell me that everything would be OK. Instead, I had an orphanage staff telling me to go back to bed. I would just cry myself to sleep.

Every now and then my brother would come meet me outside of my bedroom to check on me. We would chat for a while and talk about how things were going. We talked about our friends that we played with during the day. He told me all about school and what I had to look forward to when I was old enough to attend. Other times I would go downstairs and talk with him outside of his bedroom. As time passed and we became closer with our friends, our meetings became less and less. 

I remember one morning waking up with a tooth that was just wiggling around. No adult had ever warned me that teeth would randomly start wiggling and falling out of my mouth. I panicked. I ran to the staff and asked them why my tooth was loose. She smiled and told me that this was normal, but I just couldn’t believe her. There was no way this was normal. I still chuckle when I think about this. 

 About a year had passed when I finally felt settled in. One morning a staff member came to get me after breakfast. She said that I was going to take a little test to determine the level I would begin my schooling. I was given no warning at all before the day of the test. As I walked into a small room, six sets of eyes were staring at me. I was so nervous. The test began right away; I was quizzed on colors, shapes, and sequence of events. Afterwards, I was told that if I did very well, I would be moved to another orphanage where I would receive a more challenging education. If I didn’t do all that well, I would remain where I was and attend the school on my orphanage’s campus. A whole day had passed before the staff told me that I would not be moving to another orphanage. I was pleasantly relieved. I didn’t want to leave and have to adjust to somewhere new again. I was comfortable, and I liked that.  

This was my day-to-day life. It wasn’t much, but I slowly began to grow fond of the consistency. I had never had anything like this before. At the time, I thought the orphanage would be my home until I graduated high school. I enjoyed having warm meals, playing with my friends, learning at school, and laying my head down in a soft bed at night. But that wasn’t the case. A very short time would pass before the orphanage staff would tell me that there was a family from America that wanted to adopt me. I was terrified! There was still a large part of me that thought my mom would come back for me and take me home, or that my grandparents would find a way to take care of me and my brother. But it would seem that God was working out other plans for me.

Growing up in the orphanage left me feeling empty and so lonely. I cherished the friends that I had made, but nothing could replace the void of losing mom! As I’ve grown older, I’ve learned that home is so much more than four walls and a roof; a home is where your family is. It is where you’re loved. I’ve learned to cling to my husband and my children as if there is no tomorrow, because I know all too well that tomorrow is never guaranteed to be the same. I’ve learned to cherish every single small moment with my family. I now feel that peaceful habitation that Isaiah 32:18 is talking about! To say that God is amazing is an understatement! I am so very blessed. In the next segment, I’ll talk more about life at the orphanage, and focus on how I came to be adopted by Crystal and Jessey.